Classifieds

100 Announcement
I hereby proclaim that Bundhar the Munificent is the only true Leader Of The Faith and shall thereby Captain the 23rd Crusade to retake the Holy Land. Swordsmen and Cavalry riders are needed and will be eligible for the Federal $7.25 minimum wage and benefits after 10 years of service. Must supply own swords, axes, shields, horses and transportation. Apply to Box 66

120 Properties

Plastic garden shed converted to Vancouver lane home 98 sq ft Bids open at $760,000 Box 32

Turn your enemy’s home into a sewage lagoon with our Holmes 7200 excavator. Rent for $375 a day or by the week, Box 81

140 Lost
59 seats. Contact Thomas Mulcair Box44


150 Found
180 Tradesmen

I will tradesmen. Mine no good sunna mobitch Box 74

190 Help Wanted
200 Flying Boats

1934 PanAm Clipper plastic model $350


360 Paid Political
380 Organ Donors

1954 Hammond free for the taking Box 4

I will donate my organ free to any ladies requiring it. Mikey Box 44

400 For Sale
Fraser Valley’s Largest Selection of farts in jars. DIefenbaker, FDR, the Queen Mother, Golda Mier, Leonid Brazhnev and many other rare collectibles. Sample sniffs available Box 244

Capt Smellys Endless Going Out Of Business Sale at the 176 off-ramp every Sat & Sun 9am – 4pm Box9

Buy it before I return it! One fart in jar from Capt. Smellys for $60 that I will sell to best offer. It does not smell at all like a Donald Trump fart and I should know.
Contact Rudy G. at Box 44

16″ studded Good4Year snowtires, set of 4. Asking only $32,000,00

Box 19

410 Cars & Trucks
Huge Auction of classic vehicles grown into the lawn at 1236 Smedly Dr. TV crew wanted to make DISC channel series. Box 99

420 Offal
What’s left of moose decomposing on neighbours back lawn. Free for the taking Box 65

Make your own Hot Dogs. Spam or baloney at home! Box 65

430 Rings of Fire

Hurry, hurry!
Come to Surrey
Gotta get some
Baldev’s Curry!
Take Out Only
604 588 9999

450 Misc
Men’s left shoe $5 Nox 11

Rubber band 15c Box 54

470 Services
I service you big boy only two hunnah dollahs. Box 17

490 Legal

500 Personals

Please don’t take my children away, I’m a good mother. I always lack ’em in the closet when I bring Johns home or smoke crack. I’m a good mother!

Pimples Popped Free – dying to try out my new Dr Pliers home pimple solution on someone to see how effective it is. Had bad experience with Dr Qak Ho’s as seen on TV electro erectile kit. Box 92

940 Sulfur & Brimstone
The Rosicrustacean Order Sinners repent! Or be prepared for plagues of locusts upon thine nether parts, virulent warts and boils on thy bum. God hates you, He shalt smite you with fifteen ton weights dropped from Heaven and sharp toothe varmints to feast upon thy toes. Box 27

Public Service Announcement