100 Announcement
I hereby proclaim that Bundhar the Munificent is the only true Leader Of The Faith and shall thereby Captain the 23rd Crusade to retake the Holy Land. Swordsmen and Cavalry riders are needed and will be eligible for the Federal $7.25 minimum wage and benefits after 10 years of service. Must supply own swords, axes, shields, horses and transportation. Apply to Box 66
120 Properties
Plastic garden shed converted to Vancouver lane home 98 sq ft Bids open at $760,000 Box 32
Turn your enemy’s home into a sewage lagoon with our Holmes 7200 excavator. Rent for $375 a day or by the week, Box 81
One foot wide by 110 ft building lot in White Rock 760,000
Box 54
140 Lost
59 seats. Contact Thomas Mulcair Box44
Another election, apply now to lead Conservatives – Box 92
150 Found
Left nut outside Iggy’s Saloon
Box 19
180 Tradesmen
I will tradesmen. Mine no good sunna mobitch Box 74
Nightsoil collectors wanted Apply Box 8
190 Help Wanted
Non-english speaking obnoxious as hell trans person of colour in a wheelchair to head Green Party Box 51
Bum wiper needed at Florida Seniors Home $7.25 hr no benefits Box 62
200 Flying Boats
1934 PanAm Clipper sunken – Box 6
360 Paid Political
Vote Brown Party elect real shit, try the real thing.
380 Organ Donors
1954 Hammond free for the taking Box 4
I will donate my organ free to any ladies requiring it. Mikey Box 44
400 For Sale
Fraser Valley’s Largest Selection of farts in jars. DIefenbaker, FDR, the Queen Mother, Golda Mier, Leonid Brazhnev and many other rare collectibles. Sample sniffs available Box 244
Capt Smellys Endless Going Out Of Business Sale at the 176 off-ramp every Sat & Sun 9am – 4pm Box9
Buy it before I return it! One fart in jar from Capt. Smellys for $60 that I will sell to best offer. It does not smell at all like a Donald Trump fart and I should know.
Contact Rudy G. at Box 44
16″ studded Good4Year snowtires, set of 4. Asking only $32,000,00 Box 19
1956 Sears wheelbarrow restomod. Signed by a Melvin Sneed who stood in the background crowd of Star Trek 5. Box 7
37 yr old 400 lb incel son, $75. Need basement for dog to shit in, it would smell better. Box 41
700g box
Kill-Logs Caca-Puffs $9.99
Liver&Onion chips 230g bag $7.99
Goat bladder Samozas 2 for $9
Asst. Chicken heads and feet 900g frozen only $18.99
MailOrder Foods
Box 73
Pickled Eyeballs only $25.99 dozen. Fliar Box 12
410 Cars & Trucks
Huge Auction of classic vehicles grown into the lawn at 1236 Smedly Dr. TV crew wanted to make DISC channel series. Box 99
420 Offal
What’s left of moose decomposing on neighbours back lawn. Free for the taking Box 65
Make your own Hot Dogs. Spam or baloney at home! Box 65
430 Rings of Fire
Hurry, hurry!
Come to Surrey
Gotta get some
Baldev’s Curry!
Take Out Only
604 588 9999
450 Misc
Men’s left shoe $5 Box 11
Rubber band 15c Box 54
470 Services
I service you big boy only two hunnah dollahs. Box 17
Have commercial washing machine will launder your money for 6%
490 Legal
All legal claims against the Estate Of William S. Smedly
You might as well burn them, the guy had dick shit and his two druggie sons beat the password for his bank card out of him before he died in order to get the last $40
Lawyer Box only 6% Box 91
500 Personals
Please don’t take my children away, I’m a good mother. I always lock ’em in the closet when I bring Johns home or smoke crack. I’m a good mother!
Pimples Popped Free – dying to try out my new Dr Pliers home pimple solution on someone to see how effective it is. Had bad experience with Dr Qak Ho’s as seen on TV electro erectile kit. Box 92
940 Sulfur & Brimstone
THE ROSICRUSTACEAN ORDER
Sinners repent! Or be prepared for plagues of locusts upon thine nether parts, virulent warts and boils on thy bum. God hates you, you disgusting infidel. He shalt smite you with fifteen ton weights dropped from Heaven and sharp toothed varmints that will feast upon thy toes. Repent now and be forgiven. Send $100 to Box 27
Public Service Announcement
650 Lost & Found
Help Mommy! I’m lorsted. Where are you? Aaaahhhhhhh!!! Box 63
Found – tabby cat on Hwy 1. Can fold up and send to you in an envelope Box 41
Lost a dime on 200 block W Hastings. If found return for reward Box 8
Police boot lost up ass of some Covid protester. Box 14
655 Collectibles
Capt. Smelly’s largest selection of odiferous collectibles: Back seat from NYPD police car $195, shithouse door from tuna boat $225, Rosanne’s used panties $49.95, 6 bicycle seats $39.95 all, worn Trump socks $9 ea, 13 perfume bottle Eau De Provolone $12 ea, Ronald Reagan’s chewed toothpick $66. Kim Jong Il’s Uncle Jerky $13 bag, Certified Trump turd off Courtroom floor $599, 1 sq cm sample Monica’s Blue dress $44, Proud To Be Deplorable baseball caps $19 ea, partial can of shoe polish previously owned by Justin Trudeau $9, 3cc bottle of drippings from Guiliania’s head $19, Can’t Believe It’s Vegan soups made from real medical and refiner waste $9.79 lb, Morgentaler’s Mung Bean salad $6.99 250ml jar. Yee-Haw Nose Pickins potato chips $5.99 bag. And there’s much much more! Visit our outlet at 17610 Minus One Ave in Surrey BC