Classifieds

100 Announcement
I hereby proclaim that Bundhar the Munificent is the only true Leader Of The Faith and shall thereby Captain the 23rd Crusade to retake the Holy Land. Swordsmen and Cavalry riders are needed and will be eligible for the Federal $7.25 minimum wage and benefits after 10 years of service. Must supply own swords, axes, shields, horses and transportation. Apply to Box 66

120 Properties

Plastic garden shed converted to Vancouver lane home 98 sq ft Bids open at $760,000 Box 32

Turn your enemy’s home into a sewage lagoon with our Holmes 7200 excavator. Rent for $375 a day or by the week, Box 81

One foot wide by 110 ft building lot in White Rock 760,000
Box 54

140 Lost
59 seats. Contact Thomas Mulcair Box44

Another election, apply now to lead Comnservatives Box 92


150 Found
Left nut outside Iggy’s Saloon
Box 19

180 Tradesmen

I will tradesmen. Mine no good sunna mobitch Box 74

190 Help Wanted
Non-english speaking obnoxious as hell trans person of colour in a wheelchair to head Green Party Box 51

200 Flying Boats
1934 PanAm Clipper sunken – Box 6

360 Paid Political
380 Organ Donors

1954 Hammond free for the taking Box 4

I will donate my organ free to any ladies requiring it. Mikey Box 44

400 For Sale
Fraser Valley’s Largest Selection of farts in jars. DIefenbaker, FDR, the Queen Mother, Golda Mier, Leonid Brazhnev and many other rare collectibles. Sample sniffs available Box 244

Capt Smellys Endless Going Out Of Business Sale at the 176 off-ramp every Sat & Sun 9am – 4pm Box9

Buy it before I return it! One fart in jar from Capt. Smellys for $60 that I will sell to best offer. It does not smell at all like a Donald Trump fart and I should know.
Contact Rudy G. at Box 44

16″ studded Good4Year snowtires, set of 4. Asking only $32,000,00 Box 19

1956 Sears wheelbarrow restomod. Signed by a Melvin Sneed who stood in the background crowd of Star Trek 5. Box 7

37 yr old 400 lb incel son, $75. Need basement for dog to shit in, it would smell better. Box 41

700g box KillLogs Caca-Puffs $4.99
Liver&Onion chips 230g bag $3.99
Goat bladder Samozas 2/$3
Asst. Chicken heads and feet 900g frozen only $12.99
MailOrder Foods
Box 73

Pickled Eyeballs only $15.99 dozen. Fliar Box 12


410 Cars & Trucks
Huge Auction of classic vehicles grown into the lawn at 1236 Smedly Dr. TV crew wanted to make DISC channel series. Box 99

420 Offal
What’s left of moose decomposing on neighbours back lawn. Free for the taking Box 65

Make your own Hot Dogs. Spam or baloney at home! Box 65

430 Rings of Fire

Hurry, hurry!
Come to Surrey
Gotta get some
Baldev’s Curry!
Take Out Only
604 588 9999

450 Misc
Men’s left shoe $5 Box 11

Rubber band 15c Box 54

470 Services
I service you big boy only two hunnah dollahs. Box 17

490 Legal
All legal claims against the Estate Of William S. Smedly
You might as well burn them, the guy had dick shit and his two druggie sons beat the password for his bank card out of him before he died to get the last $40 Lawyer Box 66

500 Personals

Please don’t take my children away, I’m a good mother. I always lock ’em in the closet when I bring Johns home or smoke crack. I’m a good mother!

Pimples Popped Free – dying to try out my new Dr Pliers home pimple solution on someone to see how effective it is. Had bad experience with Dr Qak Ho’s as seen on TV electro erectile kit. Box 92

940 Sulfur & Brimstone
The Rosicrustacean Order
Sinners repent! Or be prepared for plagues of locusts upon thine nether parts, virulent warts and boils on thy bum. God hates you, He shalt smite you with fifteen ton weights dropped from Heaven and sharp toothe varmints to feast upon thy toes. Box 27

Public Service Announcement

650 Lost & Found
Help Mommy! I’m lorsted. Where are you? Aaaahhhhhhh!!! Box 63
Found – tabby cat on Hwy 1. Can fold up and send to you in an envelope Box 41
Lost a dime on 200 block W Hastings. If found return for reward Box 8
Police boot lost up ass of some Covid protester. Box 14