The West Coast Fliar

BC Surrender Falcon

Was it lack of a Trunk Monkey that caused BC United’s Kevin Falcon to fall to his knees and surrender to the very man who betrayed him?
After John Rustad betrayed his Party and his electors by pulling a repeat of 1991 Gordon Campbell by stealing the Conservative Party’s name, most of its simplistic slogans and its absolute lack of policy entirely, Falcon announced in a press conference he was withdrawing all his Party’s candidates to help ‘beat the NDP’.
Hoping all BC’s centrist voters will swing madly to the extreme right as their own loud bawling and bleating claims they must (the NDP are extreme commies, Mommy told us so), he leaves voters with only an either or and no option to elect a moderate slightly right of center government. Bowing to the extremist position so dominant in the USA Republicans he obviously believes that even by surrendering everything you believe in it is still “winning”.
It is rather sad to see such a lack of shame as he stands beside the the man who kicked him in the nuts holding his arm up in a “Victory” salute trying to put on his best Marshall Petin smile and swallows what’s left of his pride.
Perhaps Rustad will reward his second fiddle with a Cabinet Post like Minister in Charge of Taking Overshoes Off at the Legislature Door.

Justin Forcing Us to Buy Paper Bags

Everyone who dragged their ass and doesn’t have a closet full of reusable grocery bags gathered over the last three years is now being forced to buy a bag if they need one.
Even those needing a bag for their Happy Meal will now have to shell out a few cents extra rather than having the cost hidden inside their burger order. This is just another move by enviro-nazis to force you to realize your are creating garbage and coupled with the ban on disposable plastics mandate everyone to support the jobs of likely unionized pulp and paper workers!
With the bulk of Canadians objecting to being reminded they are emitting CO2 every time they purchase gas, this has become yet another focal point of the Retrogressive Conservatives ( Ed. correction -CPC ) like their grasping at plastic straws.
Trudeau, in collusion with Satan himself is hell bent on convincing everyone of the delusion of Climate Change even though the massive size and numbers of forest fires, floods, heat domes and hurricanes has happened every year before, just as we all remember.
We must stand up for our rights to pretend and ignore as it is common sense to know that a mere eight billion humans consuming, shitting, driving, and heating their homes can not possibly have any effect on the planet. Just think, a mere 40 years of eating Chinese Sewer Fish instead and the Atlantic Cod are beginning to return. We’ll soon be able to fish them out of existence once again.
There will be some benefits derived from the bag program, as pundits say the $3.50 that Bloblaws, Sopeys and GougeOn collect from those 10¢ Made in China reusable bags will reduce the daily increase in grocery prices somewhat.

Table Turns On Senile Old Fart

In a stunning turn of events, Joe Biden suddenly resigned from the 2024 Presidential race leaving DonOld Trump to face a younger, much more energetic, female and free of a criminal record Kamala Harris as his opponent. The race is no longer about two old white guys arguing to MAGA idiots and Trumpalos over who’s “too old” and more senile. The sheer hostility, the pettiness, the anger and constant scapegoating clearly point out to anyone with working eyeballs and a memory can see when stood beside a middle aged woman with a positive attitude that can smile often and without the accompanying body posture that reveals how fake that smile is.
Rather than responding in kind, decades of inborn assholiness has made DonOld double down on what he does best, rage text, lie, invent derogatory names and turn three shades darker orange.
The world awaits the results, amazed on how someone up to his hairline in so much shit could not be 90 points behind in the polls to a fucking garden gnome.

Common Law is for Commoners

Expanding upon their latest ruling since being stuffed with Trump appointees that “Presidents have the Divine Right of King” decision SCOTUS, the Suckhole Court of the United States has ruled 6-3 that “Common Law is exclusively for Commoners”.
Henceforth, the uncommonly wealthy and in positions of power and influence are exempt from all Criminal and Civil Laws in the USA. That includes laws and taxes by the IRS.
It will leave it up to Lower Courts to decide where those limits lie, most Republicans are proposing that at the moment anyone with a Net Worth of under one hundred million dollars is a ‘commoner’. Moderate Democrats are insisting fairness, that that $100M limit be reduce annually by the amount of inflation of the previous year. The Democratic Left insists in must go up by that amount each year.
Only Bernie Saunders in his usual ranting Communist insanity insists the 6 Judges ruling in favour should be put against the wall and shot.
Trump, pleased by this ruling as it means even after his current fines and judgments he will have enough money left to lie about his net worth being $100M and appeal any conviction or consequences until long after he is dead.
In a related move SCOTUS is should soon rule on Trump’s appeal that their Presidential Immunity ruling applies to all crimes committed before he became President are immune to prosecution because he did become President and therefore gained such immunity. Their decision is expected to come down in December, after the election so that he has the chance to grant himself Presidential Absolution and dissolve the Supreme Court entirely.
Evangelican Christians in League with Satan. in hopes of implementing so much as one item they believe is God’s will have now raised $3 trillion for Trump’s campaign. Vladimir Putin has pledges free Russian gasoline for one year to every citizen of the US should the Orange Oaf be re-elected,

Guilty As Fuck!!

Lying sex predator fraud artist finally convicted in court on 34 counts of falsifying business records to claim hush money bribe to a porn star was a ‘business expense’.
Shamelessly protesting he is completely innocent despite being found guilty 34 times in court, as he just like he claims ‘all criminals do’, the despicable caricature who once fouled the Oval Office continues he campaign to be re-elected.
Too dimwitted to remember the old adage of “fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me” he expects no negative blow back over the conviction, hoping the American public is capable of a second mass brain fart to win back the Presidency and make the USA the world’s laughing stock once again.
Mr. Trump continues to mock his opponent as ‘too old’ ins spite of being a mere four years younger and exhibiting the symptoms of senile dementia at every campaign speech and interview he gives. Bawling of persecution and unfair treatment after being given a small fine for doing ten times what any other regular citizen would be jailed for doing twice, and being wealthy enough to continually appeal any and every conviction or sentence endlessly for several generations.
He now claims that he did not say many of the very things or do the many of the things that were recorded on camera and repeated for the last eight years, hoping that his still loyal supporters will believe some vague conspiracy the Democrats invented AI fakery a decade ago and the “MSM” fell for it. He would name them, but as he has demonstrated he can’t even remember the names of people even if he made up derogatory ones for them.
Then again after repeating “Crooked Biden” at every opportunity in spite of 34 convictions of fraudulent practices himself, he has been unable to mention how or why Biden is crooked.

Traitors Among Us!

Foreign interference probe finds some Members of Parliament may have benefited from the assistance of foreign governments. No names have been released nor have what exactly foreign involvement was, but fingers point to China and India. Opposition leader Pierre Poilievre again refused to be read into the Official Secrets Act and therefore is unable to read the actual report, but continues to bellow and accuse as if he actually knows something about it. Other than knowing full well that the United States never has, doesn’t, and never will try to influence MP elections with promises of investments in their ridings in return for tax breaks, environmantal or labour law changes.
As the report is secret, redacted versions leave it unclear if said interference included bribes, campaign funds or buying party memberships and busing in hordes of immigrants and refugees to vote at nomination meetings. So far only the NDP’s Jagmeet Singh has said he will boot anyone out of his party if he finds out they were involved.
So far Canadians are outraged that any old country can do what Church groups, redneck organizations and Big Business has always done to ‘interfere’ with Canada’s electoral process. Cont’d Pg 83

Would you buy a Bible from this Man?

The Orange Ass invoked his latest scam for the Church of MAGA, the King Trump Edition. Stuffed with inserts of American propaganda the tome is revised with updated translations that reflect modern times such as God being spelled simply as “$“
Claiming gross misinterpretations in the King James Version, passages have been corrected, such as ‘turn the other cheek’ into ‘shoot the thug’ and ‘vermin’ replacing references to the sick and the poor. “Blessed are the money lenders” as entire segments have been rewritten, like “the meek shall inherit nothing” and “render unto me what is Caesar’s”.
In a newly added Book of Donald, verse 17 announces that Your enemies are your true friends and should be courted by betraying your current friends to them. Verse 38 mentions healing lepers by injecting Clorox, verse 41 refers to unclean infidels from Mexico and how leaders ‘cheated out of office’ are above all laws of God and Man.
Revision to the Old Testament include ‘a head for an eye, a limb for a tooth’ and how only the heterosexuals and those that paid in full were spared in Sodom & Gomorrah, how Moses parted the Red Sea with nukes. In the New Testament relating to Jesus’s time in the desert, how He was tempted by a McDonalds but went to KFC instead.
Unsurprisingly, only two outspoken MAGA Christians have spoken out calling it blasphemy and no Republican Governors or members of the House or Senate have mentioned the former President’s total lack of shame.

Absolute Immunity From Everything

Entitled to the Divine Right of Kings

Donald The Orange, Emperor of the White Men, Lord of the Humans, Protector of the Realm, King of The 50 States is in court insisting that he is entitled to complete immunity for any action he took while in Office and no President can perform the duties of that office without such privilege, regardless of the fact no US President in history has made such a claim.
He also claims that he at no time swore an Oath to the Constitution when every previous holder of office did; His lawyers are trying to hurry a judicial decision so he may resume his bid to run again for President. Spineless lackeys in the Republican Party are ensuring he remain on their ticket without having to appear in person and in spite of his mindless, increasingly demented public speeches at his rallies held to dupe money from fools seeking entertainment after a decade of only rehashed movies and comic book rehashes on TV and in movies.

Texas Court Rules Pregnant 9 Year Old Must Bring Alien To Term

If she was impregnated by an alien, that is God’s Will and a pre-born baby is a life, says Supreme Court Judge Luther P. Butticks R.

Parents entered the bedroom of their daughter Louly Smithson to discover an alien face-hugger wrapped about her and doctors confirmed she was impregnated and in less than two weeks she will explode as an a pre metamorphic baby alien bursts from her chest.
Visiting scientists from the future claim the alien could be removed from the 9 year old’s body using their experimental transporter beam, but were prevented from doing so by a court injunction filed by the Church of Infinite Misery in her home town. (cont’d on Pg 37)

73 Year Old Man Finally Gets Full-time Job

Charles, Prince of Wales had finally found full time employment with the passing of his mother, Queen Elizabeth II. He will no longer just travel about the world smiling and waving to crowds but now that he is King Charles III must smile and wave full time but also need to greet and entertain foreign officials and sign various pieces of paper handed to him by UK Prime Ministers and Governor Generals of some Commonwealth Nations.
Doctors say his health is up to this massive increase in work load and other say it may make him relate more to the everyday drudgery faced by the common people under his reign.
He may even defer to Canada for a list of things to apologize for, even though he is in no way responsible, a task his mother the Queen was asked to apologize for even as she spent her whole reign ending many of those things. You know, the Sins of the Father and all that.
Anti-monarchists can take small joy in that it is very, very unlikely they will suffer under his reign for seventy years.