Few Covid Deaths in China

Johnny McWackle, staff reporter for the Sir Byron Felcher Junior High Herald

After a massive investigation, the Fliar has learned exactly why there has been little new available about the number of Covid deaths in Communist China.

The entire world knows that the Covid19 virus originated in Wuhan, China. However intensive investigation by world renowned Fliar reporter Johnny McWackle has discovered that it was intentionally released by the Chinese Communist Party to disrupt and distract it’s opponents.
The Party released the virus as it already had a cure in place. Agents of the Party locked up many suspected dissidents in their homes days before releasing the virus so they would miss the cure and become infected simply to prove to the world how deadly and infectious Covid 19 was.
In the weeks before the outbreak, Johhny heard reports of Chinese government agencies spraying chicken coops all over the country with no explanation to farmers. In thee absence of any official explanation, it can only be scientifically concluded that this was a cure for the virus, being distributed in advance.
As sprays eventually settle to the ground the chickens would have to walk around in it, concentrating the antidote in their feet. And as Chinese people would be the main consumers of chicken feet, the country would be immune to the disease.
Westerners, specifically Americans who would puke at the thought of eating feet and only consume the blandest, most tasteless boneless skinless chicken breast ground to a pulp, breaded and fried in motor oil with Ranch dip – would suffer the worst effects of a pandemic.
So other than the expendable dissidents that perished in the first few weeks after the release from the lab. few in China other than some round-eyed foreign devils there to exploit cheap labour were affected.

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New Human Subspecies Discovered

Dr Stephen Smith, noted anthropologist announced Tuesday that he had discovered yet another subspecies of homo sapiens. While excavating a prehistoric midden his team again discovered the bone of what appears to be ancient dumpster divers, winos and social cast-offs that they encountered in earlier digs.
Dr. Smith concluded that this subculture has continued to this very day, unnoticed by others, not only within his profession but by society as a whole. He has suggested the name “Garbiguals” as they’re socially centred upon garbage and the cast offs of the predominant society of their time.
Smith was once again condemned, tarred, feathered, fired and blacklisted by the woke cancel culture powers that be. He has rebounded as a new regular Fox News contributor, earning triple what he did as Dean of the University.