After being reminded of Frank Zappa’s “Beware of stupid people in large groups”, I have stumbled upon a genuine conspiracy”

The illiterati

a now gigantic organization of people so fucking stupid they don’t know they’re part of it. And their leader himself so dense he enjoys being their demigod.
Witnessing the GOP convention and watching supposed sworn enemies fall to their knees one by one to grovel before him in fealty it appears the “large numbers” are now in the tens of millions. The fact the Oaf himself is a convicted fraud and pervert makes no difference only confirms the fact of stupidity, unless per chance the odd one of his supporter is for him solely because he was a fellow alumni of Douchebag University.
So there it is exposed before you, the illiterati completely blind to the puppetmasters of Project 2025, fool enough to believe billionaires have the interests of the working man at heart, feeling their rights are enhanced by taking other people’s away and cutting deals with the devil himself to do God’s work on things only their money grubbing TV evangelist told them was in the Bible because they can’t read it themselves.

How many beans make five?
One can.

$6.99 if you’re at Loblaws.

Took the road less travelled.
Now I’m lost.

It’s time to bring back the wooden toddler toy with the little hammer and the pegs and holes. The safety of such a toy pales in comparison to the dumbing down that’s happened since they got rid of it. The round peg goes in the round hole, the square peg i the square hole is something most people never learned.
By comparison as a late ‘boomer’ somehow, perhaps by osmosis I seemd to have acquired so many trivial obvious parcels of knowledge people deride me as an elitist or praise me as a genius.
By 3 years old I already knew if you turned the lights witch off and the lights were still on, you didn’t. Try again, the switch didn’t click all the way. Something 90% of computer users can’t seem to figure out.
At age 6, I was already aware that you couldn’t get the Seattle TV stations on the TV in the basement using rabbit ears. It wasn’t someone else’s fault, it wasn’t the TVs fault and no matter how many tantrums you threw, it wasn’t gonna make it work.
By 9 years old I knew that the red cable went in the red socket on the record player and the white cable in the white one. A couple years later that it worked the same, yellow also into yellow on the stereo.
I’d heard of a “crystal radio” and made on in Grade 8 and learned how radio signals worked. How if you pointed an antenna at a TV station it came in better, how holding that basement rabbit ears with one hand and the venetian blinds with the other boosted reception and how to trade off with my sisters for StarTrek and their Lost in Space shows.

Like cursive writing and long hand division, they seem to have stopped teaching these things in schools. My internet stopped, what do they do this time? Snow is falling like ash from a nearby volcano and lightning bolts exploding the fence post outside, my satellite TV is all pizellated. Call them up, yell, threaten to switch providers.
Sadly it seems that 80% of the people my own age seem to have forgotten or never learned about square pegs and round holes, basic electricity, radio, mathematics or how to do things themselves. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, therefore I can’t and won’t try to learn after school’s out.

That’s definitely not Trudeau’s fault. It’s Roger Waters’ fault.
We don’t need no education
DUHH!
dumb dumb

Trudeau’s bungled wildfire response made Canada most polluted country on continent: critics

Article goes on to criticize Canada’s policy of fighting climate change and in the same story goes on to quote: “The Fraser Institute, a libertarian-conservative think tank in Canada, acknowledged that while global warming is occurring, simply ascribing forest fires to environmental conditions, as Trudeau did early on in summer 2023, ignores ongoing issues with domestic policy and infrastructure.” as if the Prime Minister was in charge of Forestry and not the Provinces. All he did was send money, soldiers to help and allow foreign firefighters in to help.
As we all know, Justin Trudeau is personally responsible for lightning strikes, earthquakes, tsunamis, floods, droughts and whether your toast is overdone each morning. He and the Liberals do not even have a plan for when the Sun goes supernova.
He should’ve been out there with a shovel and hose to save our darling American friends from the inconvenience of breathing smoke for a few days.

How can you oppose mandates when you also want to F*ck Trudeau?

So everyone’s concerned about this multi-trillion dollar deficit, no one more concerned than me. Like what kind of absurd extreme leftist thinking has led to the kind of thinking – more than a trillion dollar deficit?
I mean, me, I actually enjoy a good deficit. I feel so much better when I defecate. So much less stress, less gas and be gone with the itchy sphincter. Oh yes Democrats must love that itchy sphincter.
When I was in the White House, I remember many deficits that were great, none of which cost anything let alone a trillion dollars. Well maybe that one that inspired my speech about the water pressure and plugged up the Oval Office plumbing so bad we had to call the White Hose Plumbers out of retirement. It was that old copper plumbing you know, I had to upgrade the whole place with modern six inch PVC, that metal plumbing is no good you see, everyone knows that, metal rusts and degrades with acids and you know all the remnants of Diet Pepsi over the years had degraded it beyond all hope. And the old three inch building standard just didn’t come close to meeting modern needs. Got plugged just from accidentally dropping a staff members toothbrush if you were dipping it to teach them a lesson. Let alone if you’d accidentally swallowed and passed en entire KFC chicken bone like lots of people are prone to do.
And then on top of that, one day before I was cured from the non-existent Covid hoax the deficit had to be the messiest I’d ever seen, three rolls of toilet paper only accomplished spreading it all the way up to my shoulder blades and what the hell, the shower is just a trickle. That enviro-nazi leftist foreign born Democrat Obama had installed some greenie-weenie water saving nozzles. For the President of the USA… the most important man in the world who should be able to shower with Niagara Falls if he so wishes to.
So nominate me as your candidate and so long as I’m not illegally cheated out of another due victory when I’m President, I will make deficits zero again. You will be able to defecate for free, well that is except for pay toilets, you know very well we can’t restrict businesses from their God given right to maximize profits. And of course Biden’s plan to maximize inflation and taxes until toilet paper is $1000 a roll… the man will put a carbon tax on your toilet paper. That’s right. the proof’s right there on Hunter Biden’s laptop. I promise I will even end all problems with Russia by removing sanctions on their Siberian trees used here to make toilet paper. And order prices held by Presidential order to no more than a dollar a square.
And I will put my foot down on those extremist crazies that call to end all deficits, you know they’re welcome to bind their own guts into knots but I will protect the nation’s health by not forcing you go blind.
Thank you and God Blast America.