Every Good Boy Deserves Flaying
Side A:
Monday Morning
And I Loathe You
Ride My Woodie
Just A Swinger and a Raunchy Old Man
Nights in White Splotches
Side B:
Dr. Livingston You Buffoon
Don’t It Feel Small
Sorry It’s In Your Eyes
Never Comes Any Way
So Damp Within You
Ate the Eyes of a Child
Another follower treated differently in the MAGA Bible was Judas, who is condemned to Eternal Hell for betraying Jesus for thirty pieces of silver when he could have got at least fifty.
In a stunning turn of events, Joe Biden suddenly resigned from the 2024 Presidential race leaving DonOld Trump to face a younger, much more energetic, female and free of a criminal record Kamala Harris as his opponent. The race is no longer about two old white guys arguing to MAGA idiots and Trumpalos over who’s “too old” and more senile. The sheer hostility, the pettiness, the anger and constant scapegoating clearly point out to anyone with working eyeballs and a memory can see when stood beside a middle aged woman with a positive attitude that can smile often and without the accompanying body posture that reveals how fake that smile is.
Rather than responding in kind, decades of inborn assholiness has made DonOld double down on what he does best, rage text, lie, invent derogatory names and turn three shades darker orange.
The world awaits the results, amazed on how someone up to his hairline in so much shit could not be 90 points behind in the polls to a fucking garden gnome.
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After being reminded of Frank Zappa’s “Beware of stupid people in large groups”, I have stumbled upon a genuine conspiracy”
a now gigantic organization of people so fucking stupid they don’t know they’re part of it. And their leader himself so dense he enjoys being their demigod.
Witnessing the GOP convention and watching supposed sworn enemies fall to their knees one by one to grovel before him in fealty it appears the “large numbers” are now in the tens of millions. The fact the Oaf himself is a convicted fraud and pervert makes no difference only confirms the fact of stupidity, unless per chance the odd one of his supporter is for him solely because he was a fellow alumni of Douchebag University.
So there it is exposed before you, the illiterati completely blind to the puppetmasters of Project 2025, fool enough to believe billionaires have the interests of the working man at heart, feeling their rights are enhanced by taking other people’s away and cutting deals with the devil himself to do God’s work on things only their money grubbing TV evangelist told them was in the Bible because they can’t read it themselves.
How many beans make five?
One can.
$6.99 if you’re at Loblaws.
Took the road less travelled.
Now I’m lost.
It’s time to bring back the wooden toddler toy with the little hammer and the pegs and holes. The safety of such a toy pales in comparison to the dumbing down that’s happened since they got rid of it. The round peg goes in the round hole, the square peg i the square hole is something most people never learned.
By comparison as a late ‘boomer’ somehow, perhaps by osmosis I seemd to have acquired so many trivial obvious parcels of knowledge people deride me as an elitist or praise me as a genius.
By 3 years old I already knew if you turned the lights witch off and the lights were still on, you didn’t. Try again, the switch didn’t click all the way. Something 90% of computer users can’t seem to figure out.
At age 6, I was already aware that you couldn’t get the Seattle TV stations on the TV in the basement using rabbit ears. It wasn’t someone else’s fault, it wasn’t the TVs fault and no matter how many tantrums you threw, it wasn’t gonna make it work.
By 9 years old I knew that the red cable went in the red socket on the record player and the white cable in the white one. A couple years later that it worked the same, yellow also into yellow on the stereo.
I’d heard of a “crystal radio” and made on in Grade 8 and learned how radio signals worked. How if you pointed an antenna at a TV station it came in better, how holding that basement rabbit ears with one hand and the venetian blinds with the other boosted reception and how to trade off with my sisters for StarTrek and their Lost in Space shows.
Like cursive writing and long hand division, they seem to have stopped teaching these things in schools. My internet stopped, what do they do this time? Snow is falling like ash from a nearby volcano and lightning bolts exploding the fence post outside, my satellite TV is all pizellated. Call them up, yell, threaten to switch providers.
Sadly it seems that 80% of the people my own age seem to have forgotten or never learned about square pegs and round holes, basic electricity, radio, mathematics or how to do things themselves. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, therefore I can’t and won’t try to learn after school’s out.
That’s definitely not Trudeau’s fault. It’s Roger Waters’ fault.
We don’t need no education
DUHH!
dumb dumb
The Orange Ass invoked his latest scam for the Church of MAGA, the King Trump Edition. Stuffed with inserts of American propaganda the tome is revised with updated translations that reflect modern times such as God being spelled simply as “$“
Claiming gross misinterpretations in the King James Version, passages have been corrected, such as ‘turn the other cheek’ into ‘shoot the thug’ and ‘vermin’ replacing references to the sick and the poor. “Blessed are the money lenders” as entire segments have been rewritten, like “the meek shall inherit nothing” and “render unto me what is Caesar’s”.
In a newly added Book of Donald, verse 17 announces that Your enemies are your true friends and should be courted by betraying your current friends to them. Verse 38 mentions healing lepers by injecting Clorox, verse 41 refers to unclean infidels from Mexico and how leaders ‘cheated out of office’ are above all laws of God and Man.
Revision to the Old Testament include ‘a head for an eye, a limb for a tooth’ and how only the heterosexuals and those that paid in full were spared in Sodom & Gomorrah, how Moses parted the Red Sea with nukes. In the New Testament relating to Jesus’s time in the desert, how He was tempted by a McDonalds but went to KFC instead.
Unsurprisingly, only two outspoken MAGA Christians have spoken out calling it blasphemy and no Republican Governors or members of the House or Senate have mentioned the former President’s total lack of shame.
Article goes on to criticize Canada’s policy of fighting climate change and in the same story goes on to quote: “The Fraser Institute, a libertarian-conservative think tank in Canada, acknowledged that while global warming is occurring, simply ascribing forest fires to environmental conditions, as Trudeau did early on in summer 2023, ignores ongoing issues with domestic policy and infrastructure.” as if the Prime Minister was in charge of Forestry and not the Provinces. All he did was send money, soldiers to help and allow foreign firefighters in to help.
As we all know, Justin Trudeau is personally responsible for lightning strikes, earthquakes, tsunamis, floods, droughts and whether your toast is overdone each morning. He and the Liberals do not even have a plan for when the Sun goes supernova.
He should’ve been out there with a shovel and hose to save our darling American friends from the inconvenience of breathing smoke for a few days.